The honest thing is I feel awkward on camera whether that's for photographs or being filmed. I know my brain will be looking for evidence to confirm my long-standing belief that Mr Bean is somewhere in my DNA! However being photographed and filmed is a big part of my job and it's becoming more and more important as we head fast into this online socially connected world.
My belief that I'm this socially awkward person was formed many many years ago. I remember around the age of 11 it being a regular occurrence for a person to comment on the pitch of my voice, I'd remember exactly what they said and dwell on their feedback for days. Some people (both children and adults) would mimic my voice back to me visibly pointing out my difference and I'd feel ... ridiculed. It still happens to this day.
I didn't ever want to be a person who's distracted by little insignificant things or disabled by the harsh judgements of others. So despite feeling socially awkward and being a camera-shy introvert (or may be because of it) I was determined to keep pushing the boundaries of my fears. My inner strength knew that the above belief was personally and professionally limiting so I decided to put myself into situations where I would continually challenge that belief.
It wasn't easy but over the years and mainly thanks to my experiences as Head of Business with The Prince's Trust I have taken to many a stage and public addressed hundreds of people presenting business plans and strategies, I've been interviewed on the radio many times and I've totally given up hiding from cameras!
So what's next? What am I avoiding doing now? Well, it was the filming of my online course "How to paint Dotty the cow". The idea to create this has been with me for a long time, renting space in my brain as the ideas generate but halted by my own judgements as I watch the filming sequences back and decide to perfect it in some other way!
Oh the procrastination!
We all put things off until the last minute, but procrastinators chronically avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for distractions. "It's not quite right, it could be better, I need training" took precedence over the goal of just completing the task.
So here I am doing it anyway. Of course I've edited it and in doing so watched it a thousand times and sat here each time squirimng as I listen to myself but I know the more I do this the easier it will become and I will learn to stop squirming - I promise.
It all comes back to my mission with cow art and that's to make one person happy each day and that is way more important than listening to my fears.
So with that in mind I PROUDLY present the trailer for "How to paint Dotty the cow" and should you be interested in being on the list for the course, here's the link to register.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support, it is you who nudges me in the right direction every day.
love Sam & the cows x